Thursday, July 14, 2005

Maunderings about writing

I'm stuck.

Two more weeks till we find out the results of the second round on the Noble Theme. Why do I feel like the last 23 years of my life hinges on this contest? Is it just the need for validation? ("Just" ... faugh!)

If I dont' make second-round finals, I'm going to need to do some more retooling. Again. After, what, three or four times just in the past two years? And if I do make it ... I might still feel the need for that. Or, I might need to just put everything I've already written aside, and concentrate on getting the first of the series written.

And speaking of that one ... I have the story in my head, I know I SHOULD write it ... but I'm at the point where it's more duty than passion to write, and I'm stuck on a stupid scene in the first chapter where the guys are hunting this huge creature, Stone Age style ... and I just don't feel like writing it.

I don't feel like writing ANYthing right now.

Obviously, I'm going to be one of those writers more motivated by deadlines than I care to be ... and I hate that. LOL

But enough whining. Someone (we'll mention no names, *ahem* *cough* Jen *cough*) reminded me to count my blessings ... I have eight beautiful children who are all healthy and seem to enjoy my company, judging by how often they come to chat with me when I'm trying to focus on one thing (have I mentioned that I'm multitasking-challenged?) ... a husband who's crazy about me (or, just crazy) ... a very nice house, even if it is overrun with clutter ...

Ok, time for the big guns. What I have to be REALLY thrilled about is that I belong to the Living God ... the Creator of the awe-inspiring cosmos with all its wonders ... who shed His own blood for me and loves me even when I'm cranky and have no motivation and can only seem to sit with my nose in the dust. He's the one who holds all my future ... who inspires all the stories my heart longs to share with the world ... who awes me with Himself and the incredible sweetness of intimacy He offers.

Ahhh, yes ... that's better. You ARE awesome, O Lord, and so worthy of my praise, no matter what! \o/

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