Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Sunrise, sunset

Where to start??

The morning I left and the evening I came back held the most beautiful sunrise and sunset ... I wrote about both on my way to and from the conference ...

Leaving

September 21, Thursday AM (6:45-ish?)--After nervously going through check-in and security, I sit down in a seat near the gate, just in front of the window overlooking the tarmac. A BUSY tarmac, at this time of morning--then I look up to a sky just flushing with dawn--a layer of pink fading into salmon and then into deep blue--sprinkled with clouds of slate grey.

Awesome. Thank You, Lord.

Thank You for being with me every step of the way.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Returning

September 24, Sunday PM (7-ish)--The sun is setting as my plane taxis away from the terminal in Dallas. The tears start to fall and I can't seem to stop them.

Oh, Lord, I want to be home with my husband. I need to be held and kissed.

The plane picks up speed on the runway and my spirit soars as we lift off. Speed--elation--no fear this time, only joy and anticipation.

I look back over the wing as the light is fading, and the sunset is an incandescent ribbon stretching across the horizon. All the colors of the rainbow--purple, scarlet, orange--the thinnest band of yellow and a hint of green--then pale blue fading into rich royal. Below us, clusters of lights appear, like constellations in reverse. Above, if I shade the window (there is too much light in the cabin), I can see stars. Cassiopeia looms before me.

I weep intermittently, mourning the door You have closed to me. But what did I think I wanted? Being published? And why? Notoriety, approval, validation? I am already known--and loved--oh, Lord, you have made me loved--and given me those who love my writing--and opened other doors to me. What is it I lack?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He who has begun a good work in me will complete it ....

Still to come, the first annual ACFW-Con SF/F party ... meeting Dave Long of Bethany House ... and a reality check ...

2 comments:

  1. Remember Cameo- Success can look WAY different from His side of the glass.

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  2. Anonymous9:09 PM

    In the words of Anne Lamott, "Almost every single thing you hope publication will do for you is a fantasy, a hologram - it's the eagle on your credit card that only seems to soar."

    Or in the words of Irving Blitzer (Cool Runnings), "If you're not good enough without the gold, you'll never be good enough with it."

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